New year, what me?
This was supposed to come earlier today but I got caught up in a lot of work.
ANYWAYYYY
Hey guyssssss
It’s been a hot minute.
I’m so sorry for not writing over the holidays even when I promised that I would. I went to the village and there was no reception, like zero. No online communication with the outside world. It was a good way to take some time off to clear my head and also to study.
Because if I didn’t study idk where I’ll be today o😭
For those that don’t fully understand what I’m saying when I say “I went to the village”, I’m Nigerian and I’m Igbo. Igbo people have a common practice where we mostly go back to our hometowns every Christmas to spend time with family. When we say “village” it’s not all huts and trees, 95% actually live in massive mansions and family compounds with as constant water supply and electricity as our dear nation would permit.
this is not a hyperbole in anyway shape or form
We just call it village because that’s where we’re from.
anyway, I took a little reset break at the beginning of the year to just take a little of the new year pressure off and get my head in one space. There tends to be a lot of voices, in my head at least, at the beginning of the year because I’m trying to plan and set goals and make resolutions and the likes. Anyway, you’d be privileged to hear that after my little break I, in fact, do not feel better. It wasn’t worth it, I should have just gone about my life instead of procrastinating.
I wonder why no one talks about the insane pressure that comes with the new year
It’s a new year and I know you guys are probably sick of seeing or hearing this but I really think this is my year. By default, I’m already doing some huge things this year.
Graduating for one, CHILE
This year has felt so so far for so so long
Usually I try to plan out how that’s going to go, how I’m going to achieve that and how it’s going to play out (sometimes down to how ill dress for certain things). Like I would have these plans and strategies on how I’d achieve even the most mundane things and that usually left my exhausted and burnt out.
I usually read my previous goals and resolutions when I’m trying to plan for the new year, but reading my goals for last year and Rectify and Ratify, I think planning is not a great idea. So I’m going to try living life this year without planning.
Lemme explain
If you’re an OG subscriber or you’ve read my old letters, you should know that one of my reasons for a starting my newsletter was to prove a point to myself in my battle with anxiety.
Since then, I’ve made really good progress and I’ve getting a lot better with my overthinking. However, mid last year and towards the end of last year, I noticed myself slowing getting back to the scared, fearful and anxious person I was working so hard to not be.
Again, I have no idea if this would work, but I thing what was refueling my anxiety was excessive planning with a sprinkle of perfectionism. I wanted everything I had planned out to go exactly as I had planned it and if it didn’t I would be so dissatisfied with myself, even when the outcome was incredible. instead I’ll write things i want to get done, pray about it and work towards it.
So I only have four resolutions this year;
let go and let God
rectify and ratify
Live in the moment
Stop asking if I’m worthy
I have this thing where I don’t think I’m good enough for things that I can literally think up. It’s so stupid. When I say it out loud to someone else, I just feel so silly. Like girl what’re you talking about?
Do not procrastinate
PROCRASTINATION IS THE ENEMY OH MY GOD!!!! I don’t know how much more I can emphasis this! I probably need a completely different post to explain how crazy procrastination is😭
Anyway, it’s a new year and I can’t tell you if it’s a new me or the same me and that makes me very satisfied, you’d have to stay tuned to find out😘
While I was disconnected from the universe, I enjoyed a little bit of media
Flavour’s Afrian Royalty, Seyi Vibez’s Nahamciaga, and Brazy’s Afro-Sexy were my tunes for the holidays honestly. My Odeal mix and my Igbo playlist that i swear by were also on repeat all through holiday.
The holiday was so fun because I got see a lot of my cousins that i hadn’t seen in such a LONG time
You know I will always put you on my fav new releases every weekkkk!1! Last Friday, a few of my faves dropped some projects
21 Savage released a new album and I think it’s the soundtrack of some movie or series, I’m not sure but I love love love that album. A lot my other faves are featured on the album like Summer Walker, Mariah the Scientist, Burna Boy, Brent Faiyaz, etc. i waited so so long for a solo album from him and I’m so happy because it didn’t flop.
as if he could ever flops lol
Kali Uchis also released a new album. Her fourth album and second Spanish album!!!! SHE’S ALSO A MUMMYYYY!!!! I’m truly happy for her and pray she and the baby are healthy.
Unknown T also dropped a new album which I’m not done listening to but I’ve really enjoyed so far. My favourite songs on there right now are PASSA and Hocus Pocus.
I watched like 1 million series from my cousin’s hard drive. I can’t remember them all rn😭 but you know I obviously watched Power. I was so behind with Raising Kanan, but I’m all caught up now☺️